"like mother, like dougher," mmm??? you deside.

kk caysa knows a little something about my history with my mother. lets just say its been ROCKY at the "best" of times. but over the last 2 years we have both tryed very hard to .... mend it... mmmm forget most of it.. mm or well maybe just get a long. for the most part not so bad so far.

ok soo you all might need a little "flash back tid bit of info" to really understand this little story im about to tell ya.

1 mothers most fave cookie in all the world is the "burnt peanutbutter cookie" burnt as in black on the bottem and cruchy cookie.

2 mother comes up for the week end to atend "blizz con." blizz con is a video game convention held here in california for blizzard entertainment. we play world of war craft.

3 she plans to be here about 4-6 ish days.

4. she NEVER was a cook by any means. we grew up on mac a cheez and fryed spam with some kind of can veggie EVERY NIGHT OF OUR LIFES. "spam" is a m luch meat in a can. but if we where super good maybe we got "corn pancakes" these are pancakes with a can of corn mixed in befor cooking............. OMG i think i just throwed up a little in my mouth just thinking of them... omg gag. (was never a fan of them and will never be) corn and pancake JUST DONT MIX. they do not belong together its crule an unfair treatment of kids to force them to eat them............. ( cough.... clears chest..... ) sorry i just ramble some times.

5 and last but not lest me. im a rather mild kick back peronalily not much gets me excited. and i keep cool as a cucumber in the face of sure DEATH AND DESTURCTION. (mother ...... well not so much) lol

((seen seting))........ a peaceful thuresday morning. the birds are singing the kids are watching tv. mother an i are on world of war craft KILLING ALL KINDS OF HELPLESS FURRY MONSTERS..... (insert evil laugh here)

((the plan))..... mother to use MY kitchen and stove to make the grandbabys fresh burnt peanutbutter cookies. (she is grandma how can i say NO COOKIE FOR YOU in frount of the grandbabys??) i would be the bad guy ya know. lol hehehe

((the villen)).... my husbands GREAT grand mothers cast iron skillit.

and how the STORY!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OK THE STORY!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SO mother and i are kickin back suckin down colfee when she desides she is gonna get the cookies started befor it gets to hot in the house to do so.

so i get her "crispy" (crispy is a crapy ol cookie sheet i have that i never EVER use cuz it will for sure BURN ANY THING you place on it. ) im sure you ladys have such a pan as this in your cubbys some where

but sence she wants her cookies bruned its the best pan to use. and i hand it over and inform her she can take it home with her when she leaves.

and on to the cooking we go. all seems fine and dandy she places the cookies on the pan smushes them with forks and tosses them in the over at 450 % for a "proper burn" and we go back to the family room for more colfee.

about 10 min later we get side traked and head out side for a smoke (fag as momma caysa calls them) mean wile i finish first and head in to the kitchen to get us refills on our colfee. when all of a SUDEN MOTHER IS SCREAMING AND HOPEING UP AND DOWN like some kind of rabie infested puppit on elastic strings.

mother = " SERINA LEIGH SERINA LEIGH!!!!!!!!! " (she points franticly at the stove beside me.

me= (glanceing over at the stove.) i see some smoke comeing out the back. but think nothing of it much as we are "burning the cookies" after all. so i shrug and say " yeah?? the cookies are burning"

mother = "SERINA LEIGH BLACK SMOKE BLACK F&*((*&&^ING SMOKE"

me= " aww yeah mom i told you the pan is sure to brun any thing cooked on it, and you did say you wanted them burnt"

mother="SERINA F&(*&*^ING LEIGH THEY ARE ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!"

me= " was kinda the point wasnt it??" shruging it off i replay " then im guessing they are done?"

mother= .......................... well on 2nd thought maybe i shouldnt repeat what she had to say at that time. as it might be harmful to virgen eyes. and sailors ears. but lets just say it was not kind.

so she runs over and SWINGS OPEN the oven door. it lands with a BANG!! as the springs catch it. and we pear in side to see essence of our work fully expecting to see the best most just rightest most yummyest burnt peanutbutter cookies. done grandma style.......

but wait........... what is this????..... WTF???? why they arent burnt at all and still ....... well i think mushy and shiny even. ...... HELL THEY ARNT EVEN COOKED???? stareing at my mother like a deer in headlights. as she is now starting to hold her chest. i cant help but wonder........

should i be conserned that the cookies are not cooked? or maybe i should be conserned that there is HUGE BILLOWS OF BLACK SMOKE filling my 2 story home...(not thinkin ill ever hide the spider webs now that they are soot black).. or maybe i sould be geting mother her heart meds??? but all that aside IF the cookies are not "burning" then just what IS???

all the wile though hyperventaligh breaths mother is still ranting...
again i dont think such replys would be consitered respectful in such "polit atendance " as you readers to day. soooo i think we will skip that part.

ok recap..... so the cookies are still raw... and the house is filling fast with black smoke.... mother is still hopeing a round (spining infact) and holding her chest saying very vile things... the kids are all in the kitchen now. asking " are the cookies done now grandma?"
lol and me still ponering the situation...

i deside first things first. and send my son to open all the windows. and turn the ac fan on.

i send the 2 girls out of the kitchen....

menwile we now have bright red flames. bellowing out the frount of the oven...

mother still panicing... so i just step around her to the stove. as she is now ranting on about 'WHY THE F&)*((* IS YOUR SMOKE ALARM NOT GOING OFF"........ and she thought i responed funny to all this??? flames bellowing out my oven and she worrys about smoke alarms?? i shrug it off and infrom her that in order for ones smoke alarms to work. one must first own them. this starts her in to a tirant about laws and bla bla bla bla. but is keepin her bussy and out of my way. as she gets more angree im thinking maybe we should "change the subjet" and figor this is about as good a time as any to remind her that this is infact a "gas" stove. so maybe we should trun it off now?..... LMAO she FREAKS AND STARTS GRABING grand babys.......

mother = get them the F**&*&^& OUT ITS GONNA BLOW!!!

me= ...... well im sorry but now im finding this quite funny in a sick demented way.... and i cant help but start laughing.. as i trun the stove off and peer in side expecting to see some left over pizza box or some odd ball stuff animal that got the hansle and gretle treatment. or well what ever is burning would be nice to see.

but i cant see any thing at all IN the oven .... nothing but the cookies and the tin foil i have on the bottem to ceach them messy drips. and neather of them are on fire.

but nun the less something just must be....i mean you dont get smoke and flames if there isnt a fire SOME WHERE.

and thats when i spy it...... though the grill on the bottem of the stove i can see the fire is not realy "in the oven " at all . but is really in the broiler of the stove its self...... awwwwwwww now that makes sence. but what is it???

~~~~~~~~~FLASH BACK 3 WEEKS ERLYER~~~~~

me= " SOPHIA DE-ANN!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS GREAT GRAND MOTHER CAST IRON SKILLIT YOUNG LADY.. I CANT MAKE BISKITS AND GRAVY WITH OUT IT DAMIT!!

sophia= (my eldest girl by the way) LIKE OMG MOTHER WHAT AM I TO PUT A LEASH ON "IT' TOO?

me= ' SOPHIA DE-ANN.... DONT GIVE ME NO LIP AND FIND ME THAT DAM PAN!!! AND DONT MAKE ME GET THE ' RESPECTOR OUT ON YOUER A$$ YOUNG LADY" (the respector is my wooden spoon. every women or "domestic goddess" must have septor for proper ruleing of her house hold you know? some use the flyswate. some a flip flop or padle or what ever.... my choice is a wooden spoon)

now the mention of the "respector" is normaly enough to get any kids atentions. there for makeing use of it rather rare. and in this case it did just that and POOF with a WAVE OF MY MAGIC RESPECTOR i had 4 kids all suching hi and low for great grand mothers cast iron skillit..... how ever we never did find it....... in tell that is............ YUP YOU GUESS IT. this day..... low and behold there was great grand mothers skillit bruning a way in the stove. LMAO.

Apon this new discovery. all the more it seemed comical. there was no really damage being done. as a gas stove is bullt for fire any way. and the only thing going on was someithing i hand best ententions of doing one day way how.

see this ol skillit was well past due to see a blacksmith. as the crustys on the out sides had grown quit thick. and on a time or two i my self had set it a flame on the stove wile cooking. hence the reason only i ONLY I was to EVER USE it never knowing if it would set a flame again with one of the kids or hubby. in the old house the proper place for this skillit was in the broiler or the oven of the stove. cuz as we all know. you must "treat" your skillits with heat and oil (in my case pig fat) and alow it to cool.

my dougher had done just as she was spota. and placed it in the broiler of the stove. no one could have ever guessed it was there or that it would pick of all days the cookie day. to set fire. LMAO

soo i tell mother. its only hubbys great grand mothers skillit. nothing ot worry about well pull it out and set it out back in the sand to put its self out. all is well. no worry.............


as im explaining this.. i turn to see her standing at the SINK WITH THE SPRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


me="OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG WHAT IN THE LORDS NAME ARE YOU PLAINING TO DO WITH THAT????"

mother " IM PUTIN OUT THE FIRE ITS GONNA BURN THE HOLE HOUSE DOWN!!""

me= " oo HELL NO NO NONO NO YOUR NOT WITH THAT!!!!!!!!!! LET THE HOUSE BURN TO ASHES I DONT GIVE A DAM BUT DONT YOU DARE SPAY THAT SKILLIT WITH WATER YOUR CRACK IT... wtf ARE YOU THINKING?"

kinda confuse by my reply and my raising of voice finely. she grabs one of MY BRAND NEW BATH TOWLES and begains "swating the flames"

me = " MOTHER WTH ARE YOU DOING THATS MY NEW TOWLE AND ITS A 100 YEAR OLD CAST IRON SKILLIT YOULL NEVER PUT IT OUT WITH MY NEW!!!!!!!!!!! TOWLE!!!!!STOP!!!! YOUR GONNA FEED THE FLAMES!!!!not that i give a dam about burning the hosue down BUT THE SKILLIT MOTHER JUST STOP!!"

and i grab an old dish towl and reach in and take it by the handle... now its mothers trun to yell some more

mother= GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING I TOUGHT YOU BETTER THEN THAT YOUR GONNA BURN YOUR SELF "

i think she ranted some other important things too but i wasnt payin mind to any thing she had to say. cuz

MY SKILIT WAS IN DANGER OF BEING DESTORYED BY A DISTROT RABIE INFECTED MUPPIT WITH A WATER SPRAYER..... what is a girl to doooooo. what was i to do !!! I ASK YOU WHAT WAS I TO DO!!?

I MUST SAVE THE SKILIT. so i GRABED IT AND PULLED IT OUT. more flames as nwo the air got to it but still very controled really only a few feet high aout at my knees.

mother gave in and grabed a spung and diped and patted at the skilit with a damp spong. in tell most was out then i justmoved it out to the sand out back and let it sit.................

~~~~~~THE MORAL OF THE STORY~~~~~~~

A few here really guys.....
1. maybe JUST MAYBE some times your teenager does something right and puts a way an idem in its proper location.
2. mmmmm ok maybe i cant think of a real moral of this story.. maybe you guys can,.

but i asure you if you ever need your skilits cleaned... there is no need to find a black smith .... not so long as my mothers is bakeing cookies at your home....... i tell ya all for sure i have NEVER seen this ol skilit look soo new and helthy.

;o) hehe just another crazy day in our house hold. hope you all get as much a giggle out of it as we did. ATFER the fire was out and the cookies passed around. that is.

what a nice family
what are you going to cook next week?

well mother has gone home now. sooooooo i was thinking something a little less..... mmmmm flamba? lol with out the flames. LOL

Laaly wrote:what a nice family
what are you going to cook next week?

its so quickly coming, want to make as much too ....oh,it would be nice if jamie oliver on his american trip goes to serinas kichen
http://www.jamieoliver.com/

LOL HEHE will if that happend im sure he would be very proud and honerd to use great grand mothers cast iron skillit. now that is sooo very clean and pretty. LOL never guess ti was soo old.

Serina I am lost for words!!!
Yes, you have told me about your mother and your childhood. As far as I understand you have had a very "different" mother - not the kind that holds you close and cuddles you......
But I am glad that you can see each other nowadays - even if it means playing computer games together ( ) or putting frying pans on fire.....
....................................................
I wonder how your kids will tell this story in school??????